Foster Care Ministry by Janette Cook
I want to give a brief background so that you may all know me better.
My name is Janette Cook. I have been married to my husband Bill for almost 20 years. We have three beautiful children. I have been a part of the Calvary Family for most of my life. Calvary was the sending church for my family as missionaries to Brazil, where I was born.
I was asked to share my personal experience in the ministry of Foster Care. I am NOT a writer, but here goes…..
Our journey into the world of Foster Care started 19 years ago, when my husband Bill and I suffered a devastating loss. We lost our first child, Shelby due to “miscarriage”. God blessed us with two healthy children. Michael is now almost 17, and Jonathan is almost 14. Although, I would make jokes about being able to have a Family Four Pack, my heart longed for more children.
When I was nine years old, I was diagnosed with a blood disorder called Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). The symptoms of this disease are similar to Leukemia. After our second healthy delivery, my Dr. strongly recommended no more pregnancies. So, we felt that we had completed our family and it would just be the four of us.
Fast forward 6 years…
I was completely in love with my family, but my heart still longed for more… I felt guilty in that we had been SO blessed. I looked into adoption in Brazil, where I am a citizen. I sought counsel from an attorney, but it didn’t “feel right”. I had no peace about international adoption. During that time, two families I knew had adopted through Foster Care. I began praying for clarity and peace about that ministry. I came to realize that perhaps I wasn’t meant to love one more child forever, but to love many children for a time.
During the time of prayer, I had a recurring dream. Several times I dreamed about a black haired baby girl, sleeping in a cream colored bassinet. It was SO REAL…. Each time it was exactly the same! I would be sitting in my blue rocker and the bassinet was to my right.
In January of 2009, Bill and I began classes to become licensed through the state to be a foster home. In May, we had our license, a room ready for two children, clothes in multiple sizes were ready. And we waited…. The summer passed, and still we waited. No calls had come for placements, and I began to doubt. I was given a bassinet that was in pretty bad shape, so I took it apart and cleaned it thoroughly. I remember pulling the frame of the bassinet across our living room, and it hit me like a sledge hammer! I had seen this bassinet before. It was the exact one from my recurring dream.
On Friday, August 7, 2009 I answered “THE CALL”. I was told a baby girl was ready to be discharged from the hospital and they wanted to place her with us. Around 3pm, a CPS worker brought our first Foster Child into our home. I didn’t want to act “crazy” so I left the baby asleep in her car seat until after the worker had left. I closed the door behind the worker, and walked over to the infant carrier on our floor. I pulled the canopy back and was shocked! I looked up at the ceiling and said, “God, You better not be messing with me!” There she was….our little girl. The very baby God had revealed to me so many times in my dreams. Our Gracie….
No. This is not normal. This is not the way we expected things to go. We certainly didn’t expect this child to be “abandoned” with no further contact from her birth family. We didn’t expect to be blessed so soon, with the GIFT of a “forever child”. Yet, there we were…
The months that followed were full of lots of love, learning, and opportunity. God placed other children in our home, and continued to show us glimpses of Himself in each child we cared for. In the past seven years, God has blessed us with the care of 21 “bonus” children.
We have had some very difficult things to learn. Lessons I never even imagined would be things I needed to know. We have had children with varying degrees of drug addiction, abuse, neglect, and emotional difficulties. At the end of each time with our Bonus children, I look back and see that God gave grace. He gave strength. He gave understanding. He gave knowledge. He gave compassion. He gave opportunity…… Wow. What opportunity!!!
Since Bill works a full time job outside of the home, I am the one who takes the children to appointments, visitations, therapy, etc. Many times, I am in a position to meet birth parents. There have been some very eye opening lessons in that for me. I have been able to love and minister to some of the parents in ways I never imagined.
There are many times that I miss those chances to be God’s hands. Out of fear, self-doubt, whatever the case may be. Oh, how I wish I could have those times back again!!! I have spent the past seven years watching God walk through our home. He walks beside me and my husband as we strive to be His hands to these precious little ones. But….. What about the deep, dark places we can’t see? What about the inner workings of these little minds? What about the long term effects that their little bodies will endure? What about the neurological misfires, that are constantly sending false signals to their bodies? What about the emotional scars they carry? What about the physical scars that show the world what they have been through? What about the psychological scars they hide from everyone?
My head spins trying to remember the tiniest clue that I may have missed.
My heart is crushed under the weight of the love I feel.
My soul cries out to My Father for strength.
My eyes burn with the unshed tears as I realize a hard truth… My love is important….But it will never be enough!
There have been many days, when I crawl into my bed and cry. Did I do enough? Did I try enough? Did I love enough? Did I have faith enough? Those are questions that plague every foster Parent. Here is what I have learned through those difficult times…..
I VOLUNTEERED! I offered my heart on an altar of sacrifice to be broken again and again. Why? Why would someone do this? The answer is so simple, my friends. Because, I would much rather MY heart be broken when I say goodbye to a child I love, than for a child to never know what being loved feels like. I followed a call from my Father, and put my family into the path of many people who will have a chance to see God. With each child who comes into our home, I am reminded that God is providing us with a fresh opportunity; a window of time where He allows us to be His hands, His feet, His comfort to these children and their parents.
Like many Christians, I struggle to keep time set apart each day for communion with God. Although, I may not read a daily devotion…let me assure you that God speaks to me each and every day! I hear Him in the prayers of our little ones, I see Him in the smiles on their faces. I feel His peace as I hold one of His babies close to my heart.
During the past several years, we have had a personal family struggle with our son’s health. As many of you know Jonathan was gravely ill for three years and had to have his entire colon removed to save his life. During the dark days of his illness, God never once failed us! He always provided help when we needed it. We did take a short break from foster care for three months to allow Jonathan time to regain some normalcy after his colectomy. As soon as his health allowed, we rejoined the ranks. Our home doesn’t feel complete unless those beds are filled!
In our journey to help other families in their foster/adoption journey, God has opened another door for us. Bill and I have recently started a support group for foster and adoptive families. This has been something that I have prayed about for YEARS. I told our support group the following:
“I am NOT a social worker. I am NOT a medical professional. I am NOT an author or speaker or many of the other things I admire about others in the world of foster care.
I AM a wife. I AM a mother. I AM an advocate for my children and passionate about our family ministry.”
Each foster parent has a story. Each story is unique. Each calling is different, but I wouldn’t change ONE THING about ours.
What a privilege and honor it is to be His servant!!
Thank you! Thank you to each one of our prayer partners, who takes the time each day to pray for our family! Thank you for the encouraging words, and the love our friends and church family shows each of these special children!
If you would like to find out more about how YOU can make a difference in the life of a foster child, contact Janette Cook at cookiemomster.jc[at]gmail.com.
