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forgiveness

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Jonah Chapter 3

Reach Pt. 4

Jonah 4:1-4 “But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. 2 And he prayed to the Lord and said, ‘O Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. 3 Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.’ 4 And the Lord said, ‘Do you do well to be angry?’”

What is it going take to reach out with forgiveness and love, as discussed in the last article, instead of revenge or retreat?

Read this carefully, Forgiveness is when you get rid of the anger and bitterness before you deal with the wrong doer instead of getting rid of the anger and bitterness by dealing with the wrong doer. Read that again. Let me quickly explain why you need to overcome bitterness and resentment. Do you understand that you are playing into the Devil’s trap when you allow yourself to lose your temper to the point of cussing someone out, fighting them, locking yourself in your room, or getting bitter? If you do not first forgive the wrongdoer, you cannot respond with love.

But here’s the tricky thing. Forgiveness doesn’t feel right. Forgiveness feels more like you are letting somebody off the hook. Like, “I know you lied to me, but lying is OK.” We all feel like we need to bring justice. But forgiveness says, “You know what, I’m guilty too. And I deserve justice too. But I was forgiven by Jesus, therefore I will forgive you too.” Vengeance is the Lord’s and we need to trust that He can deal with the punishment a lot better than we can.

Once forgiveness is dealt with in your heart, you can reach out with love to destroy evil. Here’s how:

First, you need to make sure you deal with the attitude of superiority. Verse four is God’s award-winning response to Jonah’s judgmental pouting. God puts his finger on Jonah’s whole issue and with one question obliterates any reason for his religious and rebellious attitude. He said, “Do you do well to be angry?” Doesn’t seem that extraordinary, right? Were you a little let down at God’s life-changing response? What He is really asking is, “Jonah, what gives you the right to be angry? Who do you think you are?”

You know, we will never have a family bond in Calvary Baptist Church if we can’t trust each other. And we can never trust each other if there is judgment amongst us. And we can never get rid of the judgment if we have an attitude of superiority. Let me ask you, how can we extend anything BUT grace to the evil world after grace has saved us from evil? How could we ever think we are any better when we never earned our own righteousness in the first place?

We’re all dorks. We’re all sinners. None of us deserve God’s salvation. So basically, here’s what the Bible is really saying: Get over yourself. You’re not better than anybody else.

Secondly, to bring about the destruction of evil in your life, you need to keep looking at Jesus. Remember back when Jonah was in the belly of the fish and he was contemplating the Temple where blood was shed? He remembered it wasn’t the guilty who shed his blood but rather it was the blood of innocent animals being shed to cover the sins of the guilty. But somewhere in the middle of getting digested in the fish’s belly and preaching revival at Nineveh he had forgotten that. Apparently, Jesus’ blood was enough for HIS salvation, but not for the Ninevites salvation.

When I say we must keep our eyes on Jesus, I mean we need to remember that our identity is in Jesus Christ and what He did. Never about what we have done. Who we are and what we are is only because of the gospel of Jesus Christ alone. He reached out to us first. Again, the only hope we have of ruining evil is to reach out with the forgiveness and love that Jesus first reached us with!

I once read this moving story from South Africa. When Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa, he came into power at the end of a long string of vicious wars, battles, and violence. So there were major efforts made at stopping the violence that had plagued the country for so long. One such attempt was the forming of the ‘Truth and Reconciliation Commission’ where people came before the commission to confess to torturing and murdering others. It was horrific as so many people told terrible stories in graphic detail. The horrors of the crimes make one particular story especially moving.

Two people who came before the commission were Mrs. Calata and her daughter. See, Mrs. Calata's husband had been an advocate for black South Africans in rural communities. Because of his work, he'd been arrested, detained, and tortured by the police many times. But one day he simply disappeared and his wife and daughter had no idea what had happened to him. Until, soon after his disappearance, on the front page of the newspaper, Mrs. Calata saw a photograph of her husband's car on fire. That was how she had learned her husband had been killed. She cried so loudly during the hearing at the Commission as she described the autopsy's report about his horrific torture that the Commission had to be dismissed for a while.

When they reconvened, Mrs. Calata's daughter testified. Years had gone by, and she was now a young lady. She pleaded with the commission to discover who had killed her father. But she wasn’t crying out because she wanted vengeance or justice. What she said astounded the hearers, "We want to forgive, but we don't know whom to forgive."

Eventually members of the police confessed to the crime. Rather than continue the endless cycle of hatred, Mrs. Calata and her daughter reached out with forgiveness to the men who tortured and killed their husband and father. And that is how these two amazing ladies ruined the evil in their lives.

Right now, you can radically change our attitude toward those who have hurt you. Right now, you can make the decision to stop trying to get revenge or retreat and start reaching out with forgiveness and love. You can do this if you keep looking to Jesus who loved and forgave you first..

Jonah

Chapter 3: Reach

Pt. 3 The Responses to Evil

Jonah 3:9-10 “‘Who knows? God may turn and relent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we may not perish.’ When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it.”

Allow me to clarify something right up front. There’s only one proper way to respond to the evil in your own life: Repent! We’ve already discussed that in chapter two, so we don’t need to repeat ourselves. But in case you’re still reading, and you haven’t had that time with God when you confessed your sin, and turned from it to God, please do that right now. You won’t be able to deal with the evil in other people’s lives until you deal with your own.

Once you’ve done that, you’re ready for what’s next. Jonah helps us to see the evil in this world and contrast it to how the Lord responds to it. Here’s the question that is naturally posed; How do I deal with wickedness that offends me? This is personal. We’re not talking about solving the problem of evil in the whole entire world, but rather responding to the evil that directly offends us. And I see only three possible responses.

1^st. You can choose revenge – This is where you pummel the wrong doer. You are determined to hurt the person that hurt you. You believe very much in the “eye for an eye” philosophy of life. And most likely you believe, although nobody would admit it, that is how you should behave toward others but not so much how others should behave toward you, right? I don’t recommend this response. It doesn’t end well for anybody.

2^nd. You can choose retreat – This is when, out of passivity, you just let it go but not in the healthy way. This is when you cannot get past it so you do nothing about it. Outwardly you seem to be fine but inwardly you are bitter and hurt. You go to your room and scream into your pillow. Maybe you pop in the head phones and zone out from the world. Perhaps your medication is a little more serious and damaging. This is more about running away than dealing with the evil.

Neither of these two options are better than the other, because you are responding to the hurt in unhealthy ways. Some people think, “Well I’m not hurting anybody if I bottle up.” But revenge and retreat are BOTH wrong, and do no good for you OR the wrongdoer.

Here’s the last option. This is the one we all need to aim for.

3^rd. You can choose to reach out – This is the forgiveness that God gives to the people of Nineveh and what he is trying to give Jonah. He is reaching out to them, not to exclude, but to include. This is not reaching out with a fist like revenge. This is not reaching out with a shove like retreat. This is reaching out with an open hand to offer forgiveness and love.

In the book, The Secret Garden, Colin is a cruel, spoiled, arrogant boy who makes the lives of his servants and nurses miserable. At first, you despise him in the book. But as you read on you realize this boy is really just afraid. Because all of his life he’s been told he wasn’t going to live long. That he would get a disease like his father and die. So he chooses to confine himself to his bed and order his servants and nurses around.

Until one day he meets his cousin, Mary. Of course, she doesn’t like him at first because of his demanding, selfish personality. He really was an evil little boy. But instead of getting some revenge on him or choosing to retreat from him, she begins to reach out to him. She talks to him about the beautiful things she had seen in the Secret Garden. She describes the adventures she had with the neighbor boy. She begins to encourage him to come outside with her and to see it all for himself. And through it all, she is really showing him that he is actually healthy and he isn’t going to die.

So as she reaches out to him with a love that he had never received before, he begins to soften. He stops throwing his tantrums and starts thinking about others. The evil in him was ruined when Mary reached out with forgiveness and love. The only way you will ever ruin evil in the world is by reaching out with forgiveness and love. That is the one response to evil that God has commanded.

If we fail to do this, if we choose to exact revenge or run away in retreat, we just become a part of the cycle of evil in the world. We are adding to the sinfulness of our own world, but God has called us to destroy the evil; to help bring forgiveness, love, and repentance to those around us.

That’s a lot easier said than done. Right now you might encouraged and thinking, “Yeah! I’m going to change the world with love!” And it all seems clear to you, right now. But tomorrow, when the bullies come around again, or the family member starts acting selfish again, or that coworker makes up another lie about you, this usually isn’t the first thing in our minds because it’s not natural. You’re going to have to work at this. It will require a good amount of effort. Are you up for it? I believe you are. I really do believe you can ruin evil in your world and bring forgiveness and salvation to those around you. Next month, I’ll show you exactly how this works.

I’m the youngest of three boys in my family. So as the youngest, I got beat up a lot. And of course, I deserved most of it, because there were times I thought I would hurt them, scare them, or annoy them, thinking I would have the upper hand. But there was one problem, I was always the one that ended up getting hurt. For instance, one day I was sitting on the counter in the kitchen and I took a jab at my oldest brother. I think it was more of a chin scoop. You know when you scoop the extra skin under somebody’s chin? All it took from him was a flinch toward me and I jerked backwards and nailed my head against the cabinet.

I intended to get the upper hand, but the results were rarely what I expected. And it usually hurt!

Before I explain how this has to do with anything, let’s do a quick review of the story. Let’s summarize it this way: The people of Nineveh were in need of revival. Jonah had already experienced revival (he had run from God and was swallowed by a fish where he repented) and he was now going to go to Nineveh so they could experience revival.

Now, this is where the story gets interesting and it’s also where my plans of bullying my older brothers comes in. I’m going to go ahead and spoil the story of what happens to Nineveh. Jonah preached, the people repented, and God graciously withheld His wrath! Normally, there is a danger that happens for preachers after a great victory like this. Think about the pride of preachers when they start advertising how big their church is, or how innovative their methods are. But Jonah had another issue at hand. What should have been a cause of great rejoicing, became a reason of great anger with God. Jonah threw a temper tantrum because God forgave the people of their sins.

Is this not bizarre? Jonah goes to Nineveh, preaches for them to repent or die. They repent, and Jonah gets angry! What’s really going on in Jonah’s head? Didn’t he want them to be saved? Maybe Jonah’s conversation with God in the belly of the whale went something like, “Fine, God! I’ll go preach! But they won’t listen, and you’re going to kill them anyway. Which is fine with me. They don’t deserve to live!”

Or maybe he did have a genuine moment of compassion for the people of Nineveh, but soon lost that compassion and resorted back to his self-righteous racism. Whatever the case was, Jonah expected the people to refuse him, to continue in their sin, and get killed by God. But just like annoying my brothers never ended the way I expected, the results were not what Jonah expected.

In verse two, Jonah gives us a glimpse into why he refused to go to Nineveh in the first place; because he knew that God was gracious, merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness. Let’s be honest, that’s just awful! To purposefully not share the Gospel because you knew God would forgive someone is despicable. Jonah was being both religious AND rebellious in his response to the Ninevites’ evil.

But while we’re being honest, I think we all need to admit something. We often do the same thing. And it should genuinely scare us how tolerant we can be about evil in our lives.

There’s no doubt that there is evil in the world and we understand that God has a plan to deal with it. But all too frequently, we choose to react to evil with our own plan. “Well, it’s really not that big of a deal.” “Somebody else will talk to them.” “Boy, I really hope they learn their lesson someday.” Gossip, avoidance, revenge, judgment, etc. Often times, our response to evil in the world only emphasizes the evil in our own hearts. It’s how we respond to the evil in the world that reveals what we are truly like.

If we respond with unnecessary judgment or cruel harshness, that reflects the religious person we are. If we respond with passivity and acceptance of sin, that reflects the rebellious person in us. What we want to do is respond to evil in a way that reveals the repentant person we are.

So, how are we supposed to answer the evil in the world? That’s what the rest of Jonah 3 is about, and what the next articles will discuss.

Jonah 2:4 “Then I said, ‘I am driven away from your sight;

yet I shall again look upon your holy temple.’”

We are given a rare glimpse into the life of someone that is going through the process of spiritual transformation. Jonah knew that saving grace and living grace was entirely of the Lord. He experienced this grace and learned very quickly what it really means; Grace is an undeserved gift from an unobligated giver. Basically, something that nobody deserves or could ever earn. Well then, if grace is a gift, what’s the gift that Jesus gave us? Simply this, His life.

So let’s explain verse four. He looks at the temple because he knows that the answer to his problem is in there. To us 21st Century Americans, that doesn’t mean much. But there is something bewildering about it that we’ve got to understand. What he remembers about the Temple is that sin is taken seriously, there must be a punishment, so blood is shed as a consequence of sin. But it’s not the sinner’s blood.

This is perhaps the most life-changing truth taught in the astonishing true story of Jonah. See, God cannot overlook or dismiss sin. He never has and He never will. But He does not deal with it according to the justice system we have in mind, where he punishes sinners until they’ve paid in full. He chooses to forgive the sinner by punishing his innocent Son.

But wait, there is an amazing parallel here that we won’t see at first, so we’ve got to dig in a little more to understand this. Like we said earlier, Jonah is a picture of us, but he is also a picture of Jesus. See, God sent Jonah to preach repentance to Nineveh, just like Jesus was sent by God to bring repentance to the world. Nineveh was deserving of the wrath of God, just like the world. But neither the world nor Nineveh have received the punishment they deserve. God sent his wrath on Jonah through the storm, just like He sent His wrath on Jesus on the cross. And Jonah spent three days in the belly of the whale, just like Jesus spent three days in the grave.

When they both came back, they brought revival through repentance to Nineveh and the world. Jonah suffered for Nineveh’s salvation and Jesus suffered for ours. So when Jonah looked toward the temple, he was thinking about the sacrifices that had been made for him, and the ultimate sacrifice that would be made for us. He was looking to Jesus. The one who gave His life. The one who deserves our obedient love.

Jonah shows us that Jesus dying on the cross in our place is the greatest gift we would ever receive. And once Jonah became emotionally available to God’s grace, he understood the process of receiving that grace through faith.

So grace is a gift offered by Jesus that we can only receive with faith. What then is faith? Faith is a dependence, a trust, in anything at all. I have faith that a grandé white mocha latte with a pump of peppermint will quench my desire for deliciousness. I also have faith that Jesus dying on the cross is enough to pay for my sins and provide forgiveness and redemption for me.

Jonah’s looking toward the Temple helps us to understand the process by which God works in our hearts to bring about spiritual change. Grace is God offering the gift of eternal life. Faith is us receiving that gift by putting our trust in Jesus and His death and resurrection.

That’s the process. That’s how we first experience repentance, and how we always will thereafter. We call this The Gospel.

Jonah 2:9 “But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you;

what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the Lord!”

There’s a simple truth about repentance written all throughout Scripture that tends to get treated like a secret. I mean, God wrote it in a book and it’s been published throughout the entire world, so it’s really no secret. But it’s often treated like one. Some people don’t like to talk about it because they say it’s too personal, or they’re too embarrassed, or that they don’t completely understand it themselves. But we’re going to unwrap this ‘secret’ to repentance and lay it out on the table for all to see so we can experience a spiritual breakthrough.

Jonah announces while in the fish’s belly that salvation is of the Lord. This is both a confession and an acknowledgement of a lesson learned and it’s really quite astounding. In fact, the entire theme of the Bible can be summed up in that statement, “Salvation belongs to the Lord.”

See, there are different people in the world and they have different beliefs about salvation. There are the Rebellious People, who defiantly say, “I do not need salvation.” Next are the Religious people, who stubbornly say “Salvation is of me.” Then there are the Repentant people, who humbly say, “Salvation is of the Lord”

Until you come to the realization that salvation belongs to the Lord, you cannot and will not experience spiritual breakthrough. That is true for people just coming into a relationship with Christ today for the first time, but it is also true for people that have already started a relationship with Jesus but desire a deeper spiritual breakthrough. And, by the way, everybody falls into one of these two categories: those in need of salvation today, and those in need of a spiritual breakthrough.

Both types of people cannot come to the realization that salvation belongs to the Lord on their own, however. It first requires God extending an invitation to them. He says, “Come and know me.” That is called grace. We can only respond to the invitation and start a relationship with Him. That is called faith.

So the first type of people accept God’s grace by faith. Let’s call that saving faith. The second type who have already accepted God’s grace continue in their faith. That’s called living faith.

So are you ready for the secret? Here it is in one sentence:

Grace is not just the way you have your first encounter with God, but how you have every encounter with God.

Accepting God’s grace through faith is how you are going to have a spiritual breakthrough. If you depend on your works to make you better, if you depend on your knowledge to get you closer to God, if you depend on your talent to do great things, you won’t make it. We have only one thing to depend on and that’s God’s grace.

But that’s just it. So many of us so many times rely on ourselves for our spirituality. “If I just read my Bible more I would be more spiritual.” But we have to have a change of mind; a change of dependence. And that’s exactly what repentance is. The word ‘repent’ literally means “to change one’s mind.” The question then is, “What do I need to change my mind about?” In this case, to have a spiritual breakthrough, we have to change our mind about who we depend on.

When I was teen, my friend showed me what it means to be dependent on the wrong thing. We had gone to spend the weekend at his grandparents’ cabin with his family. One day we were exploring down by the river, and we found this giant branch sticking out over the water about three stories high. So my friend says, “Hey! Let’s make a rope swing!” So he goes and gets a dog leash, he climbs the branch, ties the leash up, but realizes it’s too thin to hold on to. So he does the logical thing and grabs a log and ties it to the other end. Then he says, “Ok, who’s first!?” And the rest of us are like, “Bro, you made it, you have to do the first swing!”

So he climbs up a little and sits on a lower branch for a while trying to work up the courage. And in one awful moment he jumps off the tree trunk and puts all of his weight on this homemade rope swing, depending on it to hold him. But as it tightens, the log rolled, and he slipped. And fell. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped as I watched him plummet to what I felt strongly was his death. He fell about two stories down into about one foot of water with huge rocks underneath. I’m thinking, “Oh my soul! I just witnessed the death of my best friend!” For about two seconds, that felt like two hours, he’s underneath the water, then he bounces up and says, “Well, that didn’t work!” He was lucky to walk away with a small scratch on his knee. Needless to say, nobody else depended on the dog leash rope swing.

If you and I are going to move to a new level of spiritual breakthrough we must change our mind about who we depend on. Are you depending on your own goodness and effort for a spiritual breakthrough? Or are you ready to depend on God’s grace to give you a breakthrough? You’ll be launched to new heights with barely enough time to hang on when you let go and let God.

But how does Jesus give us His grace? I mean, what in the world is grace anyway? Next month, I’ll answer the question; What is the process by which Jesus gives us His grace?

RUN

Pt. 5 The Cure for Running

Jonah 1:15-17 “So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging. ¹⁶Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows.

¹⁷And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.”

So what does God do when someone runs?

At first, if you’re like me, your thought is of the terrible consequences. “God punishes those who run from Him!” After all, He created a storm and a giant, awful fish to eat Jonah. But here is the amazing truth, and you have to get this.

The storm wasn’t just Jonah’s punishment, it was really Jonah’s salvation. Hear me out. The storm was raging and Jonah accepted the fact that this was God’s wrath being sent to him. So he decided that there was no more running. He stopped running, he turned and faced God and the storm, and he dove into the waves of his consequences. But just below the storm (the wrath of God) lay a fish prepared by God (salvation). It was when Jonah had no other choice that he plunged himself, by faith, into the wrath of God fully expecting death, that he actually experienced the Lord’s salvation.

Now here’s the deal, God hasn’t really changed. The way He dealt with Jonah is how He is still dealing with us. I mean not with a big fish, of course, but the same principles. We run from God, and His wrath is sent towards us. But instead of us receiving the wrath when we stop running, we receive grace and forgiveness. Isn’t that the story of the cross? God’s wrath is poured out on the world. But Jesus steps in and takes the wrath upon Himself, so all that’s left for us is salvation. In the end, what we believe to be an ocean of God’s wrath turns out to be an ocean of forgiveness and acceptance.

Jesus taking God’s wrath was the most extreme act of love the world has ever seen. It has provided us an escape. But the escape is only through Jesus; by putting our trust in Him and what He did for us. We dive into Jesus, who took the wrath of God, and we receive salvation. And not just salvation from God’s wrath, but salvation from our own rebellion as well. The cure for your running always has been and always will be Jesus’ love. So stop running. When you turn and face the consequences of your sin, you will escape the punishment. You will embrace His love and you will live.

About two years ago I went to the funeral of a man I don’t know. The grandpa of two sisters in our student ministry was honored and remembered at this funeral. As I sat in the service, they had several family members and friends stand up to talk about Robert. It was made apparent from the very beginning that Robert was a good man. He loved God, he loved his family, and he loved his friends. As I looked around the auditorium I was impressed to see how many people came to remember Robert. He had lived a life that was impactful. He served in the church, he served in the city, he served in his family, and his life influenced many people, and they had all come to the funeral to honor his memory.

But as the service went on, the Pastor said something that struck me. He said, “We’re not here to make Robert out to look like he was perfect, because he had his flaws.” These girls’ Papaw had times in his own life when he ran from God. But here’s the thing that made him such a good man. In those times that he ran from God, it wasn’t long before he would stop, turn to face Jesus, and make the courageous decision to dive into the ocean of God’s wrath only to find it to be an ocean of His love.

I know you’re not perfect. But Jesus’s grace says you don’t need to be. His grace simply says, “Stop running. I lived perfectly FOR you. I took the wrath FOR you.” So let me ask you a question; When your time has come, and the funeral is yours, will people remember you as a good man or woman who loved God and loved people? I know you’ve already sinned, you’ve already messed up, and maybe your reputation right now is pretty lousy. But listen; that can change. You can be remembered as a man or woman who glorified Jesus if you stop running from God, face the consequences, and live in grace. If you want that, your only hope is in Jesus Christ.

Michael and Paula Elliott have been attending Calvary Baptist Church since 2013, and reside in Grand Prairie, TX with their two children. You can find Michael ushering, and Paula singing in the choir, or serving together in kid city as well as any other ministries God calls them toward in the future. In their spare time, Michael and Paula like to watch movies, play board games, hunt, travel, hike, kayak, and camp with family. The Elliotts are also Group Coordinators and volunteers with Family Life Ministries, and have been for eight years.

God’s Restoration in Marriage

Paula and Michael Elliott celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary on July 21, 2016. It’s an especially exciting milestone as the Elliotts almost didn’t make it into their seventh year of marriage. Paula had been very vocal about her unhappiness, but before she decided to end the marriage, Paula wanted to be sure she had exhausted all her options; including marriage counseling. A police chaplain suggested the Elliotts attend a Family Life “Weekend to Remember” event. Paula felt this was their last chance and was thankful that she didn’t have to convince Michael to go; he was willing. Michael thought “sure why not?” Maybe Paula would learn something. Michael says he ended up learning a lot about himself and his role as a Christian, husband, father, etc.

The Elliotts pinpoint that retreat as the moment their lives changed forever! For Michael, it was a work session where they go off by themselves to pray and write a letter to their spouse. At that time, Michael was going to church regularly by himself and "doing all the right things” (according to the checklist so many Christians make). While he was praying God revealed to Michael that he was doing life his way and not His. Michael said the prayer of salvation when he was in the 8th grade, but this was the first time he felt Christ's arms around him.

During another part of the conference, there’s a specific time when people can pray for salvation and or re-dedication. Paula had been under the impression that because she had been “saved” as a teenager, she was still a Christian. After she and Michael married, they attended church only once a year at Easter with her parents. Paula realized that something had to change and it was then that Paula signed a card pledging to re-dedicate her life to Christ and turned it in.

Paula said God quickly gave her relief, healing, humbleness, oneness, and strength. Michael admits it took about two to three years before things really started clicking for him. He had many personal issues to overcome that took a while; there was much that needed to be reprogrammed. Since then Michael knows he has to pray daily, "today I commit myself to You," and if he doesn’t, he won't.

God illumined several verses for the Elliotts as they went through the restoration process. Paula recognized her thoughts were so negative towards Michael and believed that she had married the wrong man. Then Philippians 4:8-9 showed Paula that she should think about the positive things only. Michael saw the verse as a reminder to focus on what is right with your spouse. Sometimes you need to make a list to remind yourself all the things that attracted you to them in the first place. Only thinking of the negative is like a splinter festering beneath the skin.

Ephesians 5:22-23 has been like a commandment for Paula to submit to her husband; trust in him and have confidence. She tells herself, especially when she is upset with Michael, that when she submits to her husband, she is ultimately submitting to God and that makes it much, much easier. Michael points out that if you read it correctly, 99% of the burden is placed upon the husband to make sure everything goes right in the household. There's a lot of responsibility, and it can become overwhelming. The hardest part is loving your spouse even when you are feeling disrespected.

During this time, Michael also said Ephesians 4:22-24, where Paul talks about taking off the old man and renewing your mind to think like Christ, became clear for him. That action is what we are called to do as Christians, and if we do, everything else will start falling into place. Simply put: work on our shortcomings, and don't focus on the shortcomings of others.

Paula says that God has brought her closer to Him as He restored her marriage. He has not only made the Elliotts marriage better than it was before, but also blessed them with a daughter, and now she and Michael are building a legacy for their children. Beyond repairing the relationship, Paula is more appreciative and thankful for her husband and this life God has given her. She is glad God chose her to be married to Michael, and a mom to their two children. Michael points out the main thing is that they both now understand that happiness is fleeting and that joy is something different; they realize that another person cannot bring that joy but only share in it. True Joy only comes from a daily relationship with God.

Paula and Michael both emphasize the need to make God number one in your life and household. He’ll take care of the rest, your spouse, and you. Michael points out that if you study the relationship of Christ to the Church you learn how your marriage is supposed to work. Marriage is what God gave Christians to learn about those relationships. If we try to do it our way, and only look at what makes us happy, we will fail. Only when we live life God's way, we draw closer to each other; we need to focus on our shortcomings instead of focusing on our spouse’s. Paula knows she still has a long way to go to be the servant that God created her to be, but she believes she’s on the right path and He’s given her the right tools and continues to help her. Paula says she had no idea that marriage was going to be so hard, but God restored the importance of seeking His face, daily. We have to pray for our marriages every day, especially if they’re in trouble.

Michael says God restoring his marriage has taught him to love others where he previously didn’t. That's what the two Great commandments are about; love God and love others. The main focus on restoring a marriage is focusing on God. There's a triangle illustration that is often used that shows the closer you grow to God the closer you grow to each other. We all need help making it in this world, and God created the church to help with that. Part of what Michael suspects are missing for many couples is the mentoring or disciplining from today's church. Whether it is with marriage, parenting, work, or any other relationship; we all have something to contribute, and we all have something to learn from one other. The hardest part is sharing your pains with someone you don't know very well, but sometimes the worst thing is to look for someone who only reinforces the negatives by taking your side, by agreeing with you, and not correcting you.

All the great marriages have two things in common: (1) Christ is at the center of the marriage, and (2) they all went through much suffering before they came to that point. Although Michael and Paula endured five to six years of significant suffering; it’s when things seem to be at the lowest point that you have to dig in the hardest. Michael wouldn't trade those years for anything because he knows now what happens once you come out of the flames.

If you are interested in learning more about the Weekend to Remember® by Family Life you may visit the official website or contact The Elliotts with questions at melliott2112[at]reagan.com or via Facebook.

Jonah 1:3-14 But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

⁴But the Lord hurled a great wind upon the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea, so that the ship threatened to break up. ⁵Then the mariners were afraid, and each cried out to his god. And they hurled the cargo that was in the ship into the sea to lighten it for them. But Jonah had gone down into the inner part of the ship and had lain down and was fast asleep. ⁶So the captain came and said to him, “What do you mean, you sleeper? Arise, call out to your god! Perhaps the god will give a thought to us, that we may not perish.”

⁷And they said to one another, “Come, let us cast lots, that we may know on whose account this evil has come upon us.” So they cast lots, and the lot fell on Jonah. ⁸Then they said to him, “Tell us on whose account this evil has come upon us. What is your occupation? And where do you come from? What is your country? And of what people are you?” ⁹And he said to them, “I am a Hebrew, and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.” ¹⁰Then the men were exceedingly afraid and said to him, “What is this that you have done!” For the men knew that he was fleeing from the presence of the Lord, because he had told them.

¹¹Then they said to him, “What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?” For the sea grew more and more tempestuous. ¹²He said to them, “Pick me up and hurl me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you, for I know it is because of me that this great tempest has come upon you.”

¹³Nevertheless, the men rowed hard to get back to dry land, but they could not, for the sea grew more and more tempestuous against them. ¹⁴Therefore they called out to the Lord, “O Lord, let us not perish for this man's life, and lay not on us innocent blood, for you, O Lord, have done as it pleased you.”

When you run from God things get complicated.

The journey away from God at first appears harmless on the outset. Jonah goes to the port, finds a ship going to Tarshish and pays the fare. It may have appeared way too easy, there just happened to be a ship and he just happened to have the money. It all seemed like the right thing to do for him. Which proves the point, when you really want to disobey the Lord there is always a way. You don’t have to look hard to find an alternative path to flee from the presence of the Lord.

But as I mentioned in an earlier post, if you choose to take that alternative path, there is a cost. The fare Jonah paid to get a ride was only the beginning of what he would have to pay for running from God.

1^st It hurts you.

The Bible says he was fast asleep in the ship. He was so distressed, rebellious, depressed, and freaked out that he had no interest in life and no energy to face his circumstances. You could say he was dying in his sleep trying to escape his troubles. The captain comes down to where he was sleeping through a crazy storm and shouts at him, “What are you doing, you sleeper!?”

Have you ever been so depressed like Jonah that all you want to do is sleep your problems away? Men and women who have spent time in jail or prison know this feeling very well. There are countless stories of inmates who were released after some time of being locked up whose sleep schedule is totally out of whack because they slept through most of their sentence. When they get a job, they struggle to make it on time because of their wrecked sleeping schedule. Depression, specifically brought on from rebellion, might begin as only a mental state, but it costs a person physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually.

And it all happens because God has wired you in a specific way. He has a plan for you, and when you choose to follow your own plan, it’s like a lion choosing to cage itself. The lion needs to hunt and roar. Those caged lions at the circus all look depressed because they’re not getting the adventure they’re wired for.

That’s exactly what happens to us when we try to do things our own way. Sure it looks a lot like freedom and it might even feel a lot like freedom. But only for a while. Soon you’ll slowly begin to realize you’ve put yourself in a cage and you’ll find yourself increasingly unsatisfied with the life you chose. That’s when depression sets in. But your stubborn sin nature will continue to fight it. Forcing you to run further and faster in search of something satisfying, not realizing that the only thing that can satisfy you is waiting just behind you with His arms wide open.

The personal cost of running from Christ is great and it’s not worth it. If you don’t want to take my word for it, you’ll find out soon enough the hard way. But you need to understand, it doesn’t just hurt you.

2^nd It hurts others too.

The storm of Jonah’s consequences brought trouble upon a lot of innocent people. The storm was so great that the most experienced sailors were terrified. Remember this…

We don’t get to sin for free.

When I was about 18 years old, I went on a mission trip to the desert lands of Utah to do some work at a ranch camp. On one of the days there we got to have a little fun on a horseback adventure. We were told to meet at the barn where the horses were, and they would help us get saddled up.

So once we were all saddled up we set off on our adventure, my friends all leading the way with me and my dusty steed, Billy, taking up the rear. The trail just took us around some rocky hills and through a couple fields. It was a pretty simple trail really. But Billy, the old horse, didn’t really like to follow in the line and he didn’t really want to listen to me. Instead he wanted to walk into the field and eat the wheat. Several times we were just walking along and he would lose his step and stumble just a little and my heart would jump into my throat. I was fully expecting this old boy to fall over on my leg and crush me and I would have to whisper my final words before I died in the dessert like a western movie. But he always caught his footing, and we kept moseying on behind everybody.

I also soon found out that this old, clumsy horse didn’t like other horses either. The reason we fell into the back of the line was because he didn’t like having another horse beside him. Once or twice we would end up beside the next horse and he would swing his head and try to bite the other horse. This made me fear for my life and start pleading with him to love his neighbor like he should.

Eventually we all wound up on top of a hill to catch an astounding view of the sunset. Sunsets in the desert are stunning to say the least. We all sat there gazing in wonder from the top of this tall hill. We could see far across the desert and watch the shadows growing. That’s when I realized… what goes up a hill must also go down a hill. Right then the tour guide, sitting on the precipice looks back at us and says, “Just lean back!” and he and his perfectly graceful horse plunged over the ledge.

One by one all of the others started slowly downhill, leaning as far back as they could, and their horses elegantly tiptoed down the hill. And then it was just me and Billy... “Billy, I know we’ve had our differences. But I ask, that just this time, you please follow the rest of them.” But Billy is old and Billy is clumsy. And Billy doesn’t like other horses. So with all of my faith in this horse, I lean back and he starts down the hill. All is going well. Billy is behaving like a true gentleman. Until the clumsy old man stumbled.

He quickly caught himself, but it sent us down the hill at a slightly quicker trot. It wasn’t long until we came up alongside the rider in front of us. Which Billy doesn’t approve of one bit. So Billy does what can only be expected from a grumpy, stubborn, clumsy horse. He starts bucking, kicking, and running down the hill full speed. Rocks are being kicked up in the air. We’re nearly beginning a land slide. We’re whizzing past all of the other riders. And all I can feel is my spine being whipped back and forth like a maraca.

No amount of pulling, tugging, or screaming would stop Billy. He was on a rampage. Over my own screaming and the laughing of all the others I hear the voice of the tour guide. “Pull back!!!” So for the sake of my own survival I pull back with all of my might on the reign and Billy slides to a halt at the bottom of the hill. Dust clouds swirling all around me. Knuckles white. Heart beating like a jungle war-drum. Prayers still echoing through the hills. And a justifiable anger in my heart towards Billy the grumpy horse. I didn’t talk to him the rest of the trip.

Billy basically made his own life miserable. He was unhappy and couldn’t get along with other horses. He refused to follow the path that was set before him. And every time he tried to take his own route, things got uncomfortable. But it wasn’t just Billy who suffered. The other horses suffered from his grumpiness and the rider most definitely suffered from his stubbornness.

Your rebellion doesn’t just affect you. Others are hurt when we try to forge our own trail. It happened with me and Billy. It happened with Jonah and the sailors. And it happens with you and those closest to you. So this is the final cost of running from God: The pain of sin and correction enter your life. Not only do you have to deal with the consequences but those around you, most often those who care for you the most, have to deal with the pain as well.

The good news is, there is a person who took the ultimate consequence of your sins so you could be restored to your Heavenly Father. Next month, we’ll examine the cure to running.

Jonah 1:1-3 “Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, ²‘Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.’ ³But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.”

There are several questions I believe the passage above answers for us. You might not have asked these questions yourself, but God apparently believes they are important questions nonetheless. The first question that needs to be answered is “What does it mean to run from the presence of the Lord?” Once that question is answered we can ask, “What causes us to flee from the presence of the Lord?” I want to answer those two questions in this article, and next month we’ll answer the question, “What’s it going to cost me if I do run?” After that we’ll see, “What is the cure for running from God?” But first, what does it even mean to run from God?

Understand this, you cannot leave the literal presence of the Lord. He is omnipresent, which means He is everywhere all the time. When Jonah ran from the presence of the Lord, what’s really happening is he was refusing to seek the face of the Lord. He was actually running from the relational presence of God. For instance, I am close to my dad, but he lives 20 hours away. What I’m really saying is, physically he’s far away, but relationally he’s close. Our physical closeness with God cannot change, He’s always here. But our relational closeness with Him can.

Now, Jonah was a prophet in Israel, a person of tremendous influence who had a long history of prophesying before we’re introduced to him in this whole story. We’d expect Jonah, this servant of God, to have it all together. So why then did He run from God when he knew better? Why would a man of God, who had served Him for so long, book it out of there? What’s the cause?

There was a popular, arrogant view in Israel, that all the nations around them that had wrongfully taken their land should be conquered and destroyed. God had killed many, many people for Israel before. So these Israelites were getting a little cocky. They started thinking everybody who treated them wrongly should be taught a stern lesson. In other words, and this is very important, they thought they knew what God wanted. Jonah was influenced by this racist worldview, and he thought his plan was better than God’s. When God told him to do something that did not fit with his worldview and personal plan he took off running. “Thanks, but no thanks, God.”

Sometimes, we can get so caught up in our culture’s idea of what God’s will is that when God actually shows us what He wants we often hesitate, stutter, and/or completely reject it. Jonah fled because he rejected the clear voice of God, “Arise, go to Nineveh” And we Christians have a word for that: sin. Sin is when you choose to follow your plan rather than God’s.

Remember this, the longer you run from God the further away you get and the harder it is to come back. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it is more difficult. Because when you are living in sinful disobedience you are building a life (your identity) apart from God. You are erecting walls between you and Him and the road back to a relationship with Him stretches longer with more and more walls built in between.

It’s important that you stop for a moment and do some introspection here. Check your own life and ask some questions. What has God spoken clearly into your life from His Word? Are you willing to submit your cultural assumptions and ideas to God? You are either obeying, and therefore remaining close to God, or you are disobeying, and running from His presence. In the next two months we’ll look at the cause and cure for running. But for now take inventory of your life and reflect on how the culture is influencing your beliefs about God, the world, and yourself. And always remember, God’s grace will redeem and restore even the most distant rebels.

I have a friend who came to America from Haiti many years ago. His name is Franco Wakhisi and he is an incredible runner. Which, makes sense since he is Haitian. About two years ago, my then girlfriend/ now wife, Jessica, came down to the Keys to visit me one summer, and it just so happened that the week she was there was the week the Keys Ultramarathon was taking place, and Franco was running in it. So we get this phone call and my dad says, “Hey, Franco is going to be passing by our house. A bunch of us are going out to cheer him on, you should come too!” So Jessica and I went out to where our group of friends were waiting by the road to cheer on Franco. As he passed by us, he stopped to give sweaty hugs to everybody, eat a banana, put some lotion on his feet, and change his socks. He thanked everybody for coming and then shot off again. This guy, along with over 100 other runners, started that morning before the sun came up and kept running until the sun went down. My friend, Franco, finished a 100 mile ultramarathon that took 22 hours to run, and got 11th place out of 105 runners!

Talk about an incredible act of athleticism! This guy is a serious runner with serious determination! But really, we’re all runners, aren’t we? Just in a different way. At some point in our lives every one of us has done, or is doing the same thing as Jonah: Running from God’s command. At first, it was probably uncomfortable. You felt the conviction of it and you felt guilty. But that selfish nature inside of you wants you to keep going. And soon it started to get easier. And you began to have a selfish pleasure about it. But this kind of running doesn’t lead to healthier living. This kind of running, like with Jonah, leads to personal destruction.

Here’s the saddest part of it all. Jonah didn’t just run from God’s command to love people. When he fled, he ran from the very presence of God. You need to remember that. When God calls you to something, and you choose to run, you’re not just running from the call. You’re running from God Himself. because you cannot stay in His presence if you are disobeying His command. You can’t choose to rebel against his commands and still believe you two are on good terms. It doesn’t work like that.

When temptation comes, you’ve got to determine now that you will not run from the command. Determine now, that you will choose to stay by God’s side.

But why? Maybe you’re asking what the big deal is anyway. I mean, you’re comfortable with your spirituality now, right? At least you’re not as bad as most of the others kids at school, right? But that’s the thing about your relationship with God; He’s not comparing you to the other kids. Your relationship with Him is personal. So while you may think you’re ok because you’re better than so-and-so, God isn’t feeling the same. It’s like a husband saying his marriage is amazing while the wife says they’re just barely surviving.

Next post we’re going to jump into the first verses of Jonah’s story, and I’m going to explain the why: Why should I even want to stay by God’s side if He’s going to command me to do things I don’t want to do? And why is it so difficult for me to do what’s right and stop running away when it gets tough? For now, you just need to take some time to define your relationship with God, not by what you like to think it is, but by the way He defines it. Have you remained close by His side even through the difficult commands?

I’m going to be honest with you. I never liked running. It never made sense to me. Especially track running. What’s so exciting about running around in circles? It’s exhausting and you always end up right back where you started. It’s like a race to see who can be first to get back to where you already are. I don’t get it! I never liked running.

Until my senior year of college.

My suite mate was a runner. This guy would run ten miles a day! And he didn’t even run track. He just did it because he liked it. And I just thought he was stupid for doing it. But seeing him always running and sweating kind of hurt my ego. I was lazy. I didn’t run unless I was late for class, and then I would show up all wheezy and sweaty. It was a little embarrassing. I realized that year that I should probably try running more often.

So I tried it. And for the first two weeks I hated it. I was sore, and it wasn’t even fun. Totally not worth it. But just shortly after those two weeks, I stopped being so sore. And I got used to running. In fact, don’t tell anybody this, but I actually started to like it. I liked pushing myself. That feeling of accomplishment was nice every time I beat my own distance. Feeling the wind fighting against me was a challenge I enjoyed. The sense of freedom I got while running full speed was invigorating. And best of all, I had a new sense of healthiness. During that year, I got used to running, and I liked it.

God is passionate about people; sinful people- those that are religious sinners, like Jonah, and those that are rebellious sinners, like Nineveh. Now, we’re all sinners, and we were all lost at some time. But He is relentless in running after lost, sinful people. Actually, He specializes in it.

Throughout the story of Jonah, there is a theme of running. God tells Jonah to run to Nineveh, but Jonah runs from God. Then Jonah gets convicted and chooses to run to Nineveh. It’s all throughout the book. But the whole reason of this running is because God cared deeply for the sinful city of Nineveh. But he also cared just as much for the runaway missionary, Jonah.

The story really has the same features of anybody reading this book. Either you haven’t yet completely understood the Gospel and let it have its saving grace implanted into your soul, like Nineveh. Or you’ve heard it, maybe even put your trust in it, but you are still trying to do things you’re way, like Jonah. Both are running in the wrong directions.

So as we walk through the story of Jonah, you’re going to see some very obvious comparisons between this story and your life. There are some things that will jump out at you and be so obvious that you can’t ignore it. But also certain treasures that require a little digging and a little more introspection. So let’s start with the main character of this story.

Interestingly, contrary to the popular children’s Sunday School belief, the book of Jonah is not about the fish, which is only mentioned three times. It’s not about Nineveh, which is mentioned only nine times. And it’s not even about Jonah, who is mentioned eighteen times. It is about God who is mentioned a whopping 38 times in the 48 verses of the book. It’s about His endless grace in pursuing the religious and rebellious sinners like you and me.

So the story is about God, and more specifically the character of God, who is both loving and merciful and who relentlessly runs after His people. If you think about it, it’s the same message as the rest of the Bible: Jesus loves people.

But that’s just the beginning. There’s a second part to this theme. Yes, Jesus loves people, but He also calls us to love people. And this part is really what we struggle with the most. We all love to say, “Oh, Jesus loves me! Jesus loves you! Jesus loves everybody!” And He absolutely does. But He calls us to love everybody too. That’s not as easy and acceptable as just letting Jesus love us.

Jonah vividly displays the hesitation to love people. God commanded Him to love a specific group of people with a specific truth, and Jonah was not willing to obey. At least, not at first. He was happy to let Jesus love him, but he wasn’t so happy to love people himself. So he did what so many of us have done at some time. Run.

What about you? We'll look a little bit more at this question and study the cause of running, but for now I simply want you to do an honest gut-check: Have you been sitting comfortably in God’s unconditional love for you without reflecting that love towards others? Have you been running from God’s command to love others like He loves you?

Faith | Hope | Love

Jonah Chapter 3: Reach (Part 4)

Jonah Chapter 3: Reach (Part 3)

Jonah Chapter 3: Reach (Part 1)

Jonah Chapter 2 - Repent (Part 3)

Jonah Chapter 2: Repent (Part 2)